Mar 19, 2008, 6:34 GMT
Baghdad Amal, a 32-year-old architect, is still unable to deal with the grief from the tragic loss of her husband, who was kidnapped and killed over three years ago. His body has not yet been found.
The family tragedy began with the US bombardment of Iraq prior to the invasion in March 2003.
The Iraqi regime was toppled in only 20 days in a military operation that caused massive destruction of a big part of Iraq's infrastructure, including government buildings, military bases, airports and many houses and markets.
Iraqis were also killed and wounded. Amal's husband was among them.
Faris was an officer in the missile unit of the former Iraqi army based in the town of Youssefiya, some 40 kilometres south of Baghdad.
'It was a miracle that my husband survived a round of heavy shelling of his base although he suffered wounds in different parts of the body,' Amal says.
'After the fall of the regime and US troops moving into Baghdad, I was almost certain that Faris was dead,' she recalls as she gazes at a photograph of her husband that she keeps on her desk.
All Iraqi army personnel returned home but he did not. The Iraqi army was dissolved by the then head of the Provisional Authority Paul Bremer.
'The family had to conduct its own search for my missing husband. ... Then one day, a car stopped in front of our house in Jihad district in Baghdad. Men were carrying Faris out of the car. He was badly injured.'
'We felt extremely happy but also extremely sad. My husband was not able to move or talk. But I could read his tearful eyes talking to me,' Amal recalls.
Faris had serious injuries to his lower jaw, which prevented him from speaking and eating, as well as other injuries all over his body.
However, after a three-month hospital treatment and surgery, he was back on his feet.
Against the will of the family, he joined the army once again and began military training at Qarqush camp under the supervision of the US army in Kirkuk, some 250 kilometres north of Baghdad.
'Fears and worries gripped me more strongly than I used to feel during the days of the invasion. Violence and explosions were alarmingly flaring across the country, targeting army and police personnel who work with the Americans,' says Amal.
'What I most fear had come to pass. In November 2004, Faris was kidnapped by armed men and murdered. His body was never found. Nor do I expect it to be ever recovered. Now, he has no grave that I can visit.'
Amal now wears the Islamic headscarf.
The ousting of former President Saddam Hussein did not stir any feelings inside her because since the invasion she has been living in a 'state of fear and worry.'
'We were forced to leave our house after gunmen threatened to kill us if we did not leave within 24 hours. We are now finally settling in eastern Baghdad.'
'Violence and armed groups have robbed Iraqis of every glimmer of hope to create a different Iraq after Saddam and his Baath Party failed to do so over 35 years,' said Amal.
Amal lives with her 4-year-old son and her in-laws. Although the family enjoys a good standard of living, it lives in fear because of the lack of security.
'The Americans turned our country into a stage for fighting al- Qaeda at our expense and against the country's interest,' says Amal.
'Iraqis have become victims in the endeavour to protect the American people against al-Qaeda.'
'We have lost our loved ones. We should stop now and leave past mistakes behind us. The new era should have no place for militias and armed criminals,' Amal says.
She believes that rebuilding Iraq should be given a new momentum.
Apart from the removal of Saddam, Amal believes very little has been achieved since the invasion in 2003.
In the past five years, she says, Iraqis have been experiencing different kinds of problems: spiralling prices, unemployment and widespread corruption.
But trying to strike a note of objectivity, Amal admits that the US invasion has had its positive side despite everything.
'Now we have satellite television channels, mobile phones and we can celebrate our religious festivals, all of these were banned in Saddam's era,' Amal said.
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